How to let go of hope that your parent will change and care about you.
Last weekend was Mother’s Day and soon enough it will be Father’s Day also. For many these days are celebratory, but for many others they highlight challenging or nonexistent parent relationships.
Today’s Ask Kelsey Question is for those who have the latter.
It’s a big one, and the answer, or at least my answer, is not something you can do once and forever be healed.
In essence, it’s the journey we’re all on in some form:
The journey of healing from the past, becoming our own parent, rewiring old stories that no longer serve us, choosing not to be defined by the actions or perspectives of others, and choosing new ways of being that enable us to receive more love on all levels.
NBD (no big deal).
ENJOY THE FULL AUDIO RECORDING:
NOTES AND ADDITIONAL LOVE:
1. Build your inner resources.
By that I mean create safety within and around yourself; protect your time, energy and visions; and consistently give yourself love and support.
The most concrete way I know how to achieve this is to maintain a daily self-love or spiritual practice. If this is new to you, here’s a free resource to help you get started.
2. Rewire your foundation.
Get your cells and full body, mind and spirit involved in the healing process.
Certain types of coaching can help with this, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy is a wonderful way to rewire trauma, Sound Healing can be supportive in literally operating at a different vibration or frequency, Brain Gym and other forms of movement or body healing can help release what’s unconscious and being held within, and, of course, whatever else works for you!
3. Mourn the loss of them.
Your vision of this parent is not the reality, therefore you need to go through a mourning process to release you both from the old story.
Mourning involves feeling all your feels! Resisting your feelings will only create resentment - and will show up as stuck energy in your body leading to potential illness.
4. Release your grip and step outside of tunnel vision.
Stop staring at this person and focusing on lack. Look around to see how life is attempting to love you.
The best way to achieve this is to practice regular forgiveness. Not sure how? Start with this simple and powerful technique.
5. Be patient with yourself.
Healing comes in waves. There will be times when you feel completely whole and there will be times when you will feel like you’re back at square one. Please note: You are not back at square one, but you will be given constant opportunities to go deeper, rewire and receive more love.
Keep going.
Thank you for listening and for being on this journey.
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ALL the love,
Kelsey