EXPANSION & How We Keep Ourselves Small
Over the past year and a half - amidst our 3 weddings (Yes, 3 of them to the same amazing man!) and becoming pregnant (SQUEAL!) - I danced with the decision of whether or not to officially change my business name to my new full name post-marriage: Kelsey Fox Bennett Boyd.
When I got married I was SO excited to have four names. Four is my favorite number and I love the way my full name sounds so I legally made Fox and Bennett my two middle names and Boyd my last name. I was expanding into my new life (My body is now literally expanding with our baby, too!) and my name felt like a representation of that expansion.
I did some research before making any changes to my business name and learned that there are some folks who love having their business name be separate from their personal name. Others do not make changes because it can get complicated. And finally, many talk about making it easy on your followers - i.e. you could potentially confuse them with a name change.
All these sounded reasonable, but did they ring true for me? I wasn’t sure yet.
At some point in this process my brother, Colin, and I were talking about my new name and what I would want my author name to be. I forget exactly how he phrased it, but I remember him looking at me and the corner of his mouth turning up when he shared that of course I would use all four names!
To him it seemed obvious. My full self, my full name, my full joy to represent my work.
I kept that close to my heart as I let myself slowly adjust to wanting to use my full name for business. My hesitation?
It’s too long.
It’s too complicated.
No one has four names. (AKA who do I think I am to have four names?)
People will find it - and by connection me - obnoxious.
Oh how we judge ourselves!!
No one else was judging me. I was preemptively judging myself in order to prevent the potential risk of being judged by others. Keeping myself small to avoid any conflict.
So I started to brainstorm ways to make my full name ‘easier and more manageable.’ I came up with Kelsey Fox B. B. as a cute way to shorten my name. It felt smart and sassy.
Let’s get real, it felt safe.
As this brainstorming was happening, I was also finishing up responses to a magazine interview for Cordella Magazine (Issue Thirteen available for preorder here!) and they needed my bio. They sent me a draft of one they had taken from my website and there it was: My maiden name alongside my maiden name website url.
I hesitated for 2 whole days and then thought, “Now or never, Kelsey!”
I went to work and set up kelseyfoxbb.com and an email address to go along with it.
And then… I ran into a glitch. The email address was sending messages but not receiving them.
Oh, how the angels were working in my favor because my husband came home that night and I told him what was happening and he said, “Well, did you ask people?”
“Ask people?”
“Which they preferred between kelseyfoxbb.com and kelseyfoxbennettboyd.com?”
“No.”
“It’s always good to do a quick poll to get some feedback and ensure you’re making an informed choice.”
In the moment I was quite frustrated with him and the timing of his suggestion, but I knew he was right.
Thankfully, I have a few incredible circles of women who I trust so I immediately put out the ask.
First person responded: “I love your full name.”
Second person: “Same.”
Third person: “I really like your full name.”
Fourth person: “Go for the fullness, Kelsey!”
Every single person who responded said they preferred my full name.
Every. Single. Person.
And I realized they were giving me permission to do what I wanted to do from the beginning.
They were encouraging me to be my full self, to stand in my full name, to express my full joy.
It wasn’t too much. It wasn’t too long. It was beautiful - and much more straightforward than the alternative I created out of hesitation, worry and fear.
Yet another reason why I love supportive husbands and sister circles. THANK YOU, HUSBAND AND SISTERS.
Because it’s important to surround yourself with people who remind you:
Be your full self. Your full self is beautiful.
And it is safe to expand.
My full name url, kelseyfoxbennettboyd.com, is up and running. So is my new email love@kelseyfoxbennettboyd.com.
And yes, kelseyfoxbennett.com will redirect you to the new site name so no need to panic or remember immediately. We’ll ease into this expansion.
How are you expanding in your life right now? Are there places where you might be keeping yourself small or hiding your fullness? Tell me about it in the comments below so I can be a voice of love and support.
Let’s expand together.
Xoxo
Kelsey