Fully Let Go In The Pauses
“Fully let go in the pauses.”
These words from Jessica Diz have been repeating in my head.
Jessica was my Doula and she was referring to the pauses between surges/contractions during labor, but her words have been a salve the past few weeks.
I remember as my labor with Abigail kicked into gear I felt my whole body tighten in anticipation for each coming surge. We called Jessica and she reminded me to fully let go in the pauses. Oh my goodness what a difference it made!
By fully letting go in between each wave, I could regroup and relax, making the next wave feel lighter and easier to ride versus accumulating wave upon wave and feeling less and less able to relax with them.
Fast forward 3 months and our daughter has hit what they call the 3-4 month sleep regression. She is going through a big developmental leap and as a result of her growing brain and body paired with her new awareness (plus the random reflux or gas), it’s become more of a challenge to put her down to rest… and no guarantee that she’ll stay asleep!
Mama is tired. Sleep is precious. So the more and more challenging it becomes, the tighter I get, and I began to realize, even after she’s asleep I’m bracing myself for the next round, which means: NO RECOVERY. So if and when she does wake up, I’m even worse than before!
Oh goodness, talk about a downward cycle!
And then came Jessica’s words:
“Fully let go in the pauses.”
What if I let go? What if, after she goes down, I relish the pause, breathe deep, nourish myself slowly and lovingly?
My beautiful baby might wake up right after I put her down. I cannot control that. But I can control my ability to feel a bit recovered and at ease in the pause between rounds.
Practically for me this looks like laying down on the couch to rest, drinking a glass of water, eating or making delicious food, doing a workout, taking a shower, writing in my journal and/or simply taking deep breaths. In short it means not immediately scrolling on my telephone and not clenching my body in fear.
I bet you can guess what a difference it makes! I have more energy and am more of my best mom self for my incredible baby.
That said, I’m definitely not perfect. It’s easier said than done sometimes, but I’m in the practice of it and it’s helping so so much, which is why I wanted to share it with you.
Is there something that you’re holding onto - physical or emotional - and find yourself tensing long after it occurs, bracing yourself for if or when it happens again? What is one way that you could help yourself let go?
I would love to hear about it! Tell me in the comments or send me an email at love@kelseyfoxbennettboyd.com.
And if you need big love around letting go, the kind of love that helps you release the past in order to let more love in, then click here to download my Forgiveness Practice PDF.
XOXO,
Kelsey