Cracks in the Wellness World

Recently I created a series of videos on Instagram which I called "Cracks in the Wellness World", where I share my experience of the harm in the wellness industry and how I now advocate for a community-centered approach to wellness that includes the benefits of medical science, and I hope you’ll take a look.

I grew up unvaccinated in the white wellness world. I LOVED (and still love much of) the tools and support I experienced in that world. And yet, as my life experience began to include diverse perspectives, the harm of the wellness industry became unavoidable.

I’ve mentioned some of this in previous posts, but this is the most I’ve spoken directly about the harm that I not only witnessed, but caused…

Arya's First Printing Run SOLD OUT!

I am so proud to share that the first printing of 500 hardcover copies of Arya & Everyone Else’s Feelings has SOLD OUT! Don’t worry, the paperback is still in stock both on Amazon and the Book Baby Bookshop…

Tips To Show Up Sustainably For Your Art & Activism

Showing up for what we care about can be challenging. Why? Because we have jobs, responsibilities, families, friends, events - LIFE.

It can also be challenging because if we care deeply, then there’s likely some fear, vulnerability and old messaging blocking us from showing up fully: Am I worthy? What if I do it wrong? Who am I to be doing this? What if people don’t like me or what I share?

When you put yourself out there in your art or in your activism you’re essentially saying, “This is what I believe. This is what I stand for.” As a result there will be humans in the world who will not align with you, what you believe and what you stand for. These people may just not care about what you’re sharing or they might actively ridicule you and tear you down. Thus, standing up for what we believe in always comes with some level of vulnerability.

Followup Question: How are you at being vulnerable?

For most of us I think the answer is not so great!

I learned during the Kickstarter Launch for my children’s book, Arya & Everyone Else’s Feelings, that I was way out of practice at being vulnerable. I felt scared every single day. So many old messages came up, so much fear and vulnerability. It was my childhood dream to be an author and help heal the world. Could I actually do it and feel safe? The answer was yes and no: I could do it, but I wouldn’t feel safe every step of the way and that is okay. I could return to the trust, safety and knowing that I am worthy, that my book was worthy, again and again. So that’s what I did.

And, honestly, that experience not only made me feel incredibly empowered because I showed up for my dream and for myself, it also prepared me to show up for what I believe in when it came to Here4TheKids - a movement led by BIPoC women to bring an end to the gun violence in this country…

Ways To Support Your Highly Sensitive Kid

(Before continuing you might want to read my previous post: Some Signs Your Kid Is Highly Sensitive.)

So, you have a highly sensitive kid. Now what?

The following are my big picture recommendations from my work with highly sensitive kids both in the classroom and in private sessions over the past decade - and from being a highly sensitive kid myself.

And honestly, the following recommendations are great for ALL kids. But/and some are even more necessary for highly sensitive ones.

1. ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE

Your child was born with a more sensitive nervous system. They are not pretending to be sensitive. This is who they are and they need acceptance, love and support to thrive!

Sensitivity is NOT the opposite of strength. Do not attempt to change them or “toughen them up.” Instead, BUILD them up with acknowledgement of both the strengths and challenges of being more sensitive and offer them tools to navigate all of the above.

2. HONOR THEIR BOUNDARIES

If your sensitive kid needs space, give them space…

Some Signs Your Kid Is Highly Sensitive

First and foremost it’s important to note that highly sensitive kids vary just as all kids vary. Each one has their own flare and personality. Each one’s sensitivity is expressed uniquely based on who they are, what lights them up, what type of environment they grow up in, and how their sensitivity is honored, ignored, or even shunned.

It’s also important to remember that sensitivity is a spectrum and if your child isn’t highly sensitive it does not mean they are a non-feeling machine. They are likely still compassionate, kind and aware of the world around them, but they are not innately conscious of or affected by the world as much as their highly sensitive peers.

We all have the capacity to develop our sensitivity and awareness. But/and, we are also all born in a certain way.

Dr. Elaine Aron began researching high sensitivity in 1991 and continues her research today. Her website and books have been helpful to many, including me, to recognize that high sensitivity is an innate trait - meaning highly sensitive people are born with a more sensitive nervous system and our brains’ work a little different. This innate trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, that of observing before acting…

Setbacks Are Part Of Success

I have some really exciting news:

I wrote a children’s book!

Even more exciting:

It’s already illustrated - by the incredible Louie Chin - and in 3 weeks I am launching a Kickstarter campaign to help me self-publish and share it with the world!

The book is called Arya & Everyone Else’s Feelings and I am ridiculously proud of it. Click here to learn more and get on the VIP List so you can be first in line to preorder your copy!

Bringing this book into being has been a slow and steady process spanning over 4 years!

There have been many setbacks, but I kept finding the next step and taking it - again and again and again.

At times that next step felt arduous and as if it would never fall into place…

Reminders During Challenge

The past month has been a series of sicknesses and canceled plans in our house and there were times when it felt really challenging.

The full abbreviated story: My daughter got a really bad head cold that interrupted all of our sleep, then her head cold turned into an ear infection (very triggering for me because of my early childhood illness and corresponding awful earaches) and had to go on antibiotics, then my husband got sick, then my daughter got sick with Coxackievirus, then I got my period, then I got sick, then I got a call from school that my daughter tripped and bonked her tooth/gum so we took an emergency visit to the dentist for x-rays. (She’s totally okay!) In the middle of that we postponed lots of joyful plans, skipped a lot of school, and in many ways life essentially got put on hold.

In the midst of In the midst of sickness and parenting exhaustion I had all the feels:

Terror, worry, joy, bliss, acceptance, resistance, panic, frustration, disappointment and acceptance again.

Whenever we go through extended periods of challenge it’s easy to start to wonder, Will it ever end?

The following reminders have been incredibly helpful for me, and perhaps they’ll help you, too…

My Heart Breaks Daily

How can you look at the atrocities of the world and deny them?

How can you look at the heartache and turn your back?

Actually, I know how, because I did it, too.

That Oh So Uncomfortable Parenting Moment: What to do when your kid refuses to participate

I have been a teacher for over a decade. I’ve taught Mommy and Me classes and also had parents visit their toddlers and preschoolers while in class with me.

I remember parents on countless occasions feeling concerned that their child wasn’t participating and I remember loving these parents and letting them know that however their child showed up was completely okay with me.

In most cases I’d see the kids more than once and develop awesome and lasting relationships with them. And even if I didn’t, their child was wherever they needed to be on that day, in that moment, feeling an array of emotions while being exposed to something and someone brand new. My goal was to keep the door open, let them know they were safe and invite them to join. From there, it was up to them. It might take 5 minutes or it might take 5 classes before they felt comfortable to participate.

A few weeks ago was the first time I was the parent of a child who chose not to participate.

And even though I knew from a teaching perspective it was totally okay, I, the parent, was NOT okay.

I always had compassion for parents in these moments, but I had no idea how excruciating it could feel until I was standing in their place.

Welcome to the Blog

HIGHLY SENSITIVE | KIDS | PARENTING

TRAUMA | Self-Care | Community Care

1. ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE

2. HONOR THEIR BOUNDARIES

Bringing this book into being has been a slow and steady process spanning over 4 years!

Here’s what happened…