Posts in Parenting
Let Fear be your Guide & Let Go of the “Plan” - My Giving Birth Story

Birth.

We are all born. Yet when I became pregnant I realized I had never attended anyone’s birth. I’d never witnessed it other than what I’d see on television and in movies. Even though it’s the most natural and normal occurrence and we all experience it as we enter the world, it was actually quite mysterious and distant from anything I knew. I’m an excellent student, though, so I set about to learn and acclimate myself - mostly in an attempt to normalize and de-mystify it. I watched videos of people giving birth, I looked at photos, I started following all sorts of doulas and birth centers on social media, I enrolled in an online hypnobirthing class, I set out to hire my own doula (and did - she’s great!) and then I absorbed everything that came my way through all these channels.

I became more and more confident in my ability to birth my baby. Yet, in addition to learning all sorts of pain management and mindfulness techniques to birth naturally, I also learned about all the ways to medically induce birth or intervene if something goes other than expected. As my husband likes to say, have the plan and then have a few backup plans just in case. Because this is the other thing about pregnancy and giving birth: It’s unpredictable…

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Fully Let Go In The Pauses

“Fully let go in the pauses.”

These words from Jessica Diz have been repeating in my head.

Jessica was my Doula and she was referring to the pauses between surges/contractions during labor, but her words have been a salve the past few weeks.

I remember as my labor with Abigail kicked into gear I felt my whole body tighten in anticipation for each coming surge. We called Jessica and she reminded me to fully let go in the pauses. Oh my goodness what a difference it made!

By fully letting go in between each wave, I could regroup and relax, making the next wave feel lighter and easier to ride versus accumulating wave upon wave and feeling less and less able to relax with them.

Fast forward 3 months and our daughter has hit what they call the 3-4 month sleep regression. She is going through a big developmental leap and as a result of her growing brain and body paired with her new awareness (plus the random reflux or gas), it’s become more of a challenge to put her to down to rest… and no guarantee that she’ll stay asleep!

Mama is tired. Sleep is precious…

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Self-Care VS. Selfish: How do we navigate cultural messages that tell us to never put ourselves first?

I know so many who have struggled with the line between self-care and selfish.

I, too, have done my own dance with it - wondering if it's safe and okay for me to be extraordinarily happy, abundantly wealthy, and continually receive more.

Or perhaps I am just a selfish bitch. (Thankfully I can't even type those words without laughing out loud!)

We live in a culture that says things like…

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Communication & Abundance: A simple tool to go from defensive to calm in challenging conversations

I was with one of my friends a few months ago and found myself in a bit of a rant. It went something like this:

If we could all just communicate - not react, judge, assume, or defend, but actually communicate authentically without charge - we would discover we have more in common than we think and have more compassion and love to share.

Communicating is the basis of abundance and creating what you desire.

Clarity, boundaries, connection, love, to be seen and understood. So much of our ability to navigate the world henges on 1) being aware of ourselves, our needs and our desires and 2) being able to communicate all of that to others.

Communication creates a foundation for successful relationships in our personal and professional lives.

And yet… it can be SO HARD to communicate. 

Why?

Because we have baggage and big feels from past traumas and experiences - old messages, patterns, and belief systems - that interrupt our ability to communicate what’s actually happening in various situations in our lives…

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Face Judgment with Big Love

Ever have the feeling you are rocking out, so proud of yourself and what you are doing, confident and secure… and then you share with someone who doesn’t get it and all those feelings disappear?

I would imagine that all of our hands are going up. Even the seemingly most confident people I’ve met still have moments of insecurity when being judged.

And yet, facing judgment is inevitable. In fact, if you are really standing in your truth, it is more likely you will be judged.

So then what?

How do you navigate the world, authentically being you and doing what you love, when you know you could be judged?

This is what today’s Ask Kelsey is all about…

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End of Summer Anxiety? Go From Overwhelm to Action With These 3 Steps

August has a tendency to bring a wave of anxiety.

Whether you are fresh back from vacation, prepping for the upcoming school year, navigating the last of summer events or merely attempting to digest the daily news, the sensation of overwhelm is real - and can be paralyzing. 

Summer is the season for vacation, a gift that we look forward to all year, which can make the transition back to daily life stressful (to say the least)…

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How to let go of hope that your parent will change and care about you.

Last weekend was Mother’s Day and soon enough it will be Father’s Day also. For many these days are celebratory, but for many others they highlight challenging or nonexistent parent relationships.

Today’s Ask Kelsey Question is for those who have the latter. 

It’s a big one, and the answer, or at least my answer, is not something you can do once and forever be healed. 

In essence, it’s the journey we’re all on in some form:

The journey of healing from the past, becoming our own parent, rewiring old stories that no longer serve us, choosing not to be defined by the actions or perspectives of others, and choosing new ways of being that enable us to receive more love on all levels. 

NBD (no big deal)…

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A quick and easy self-care practice for busy moms

Too busy for self-care? Having trouble refilling between work and family life? Then today’s Ask Kelsey video is for you.

Our question comes from an entrepreneurial mom curious about something she can do every single day that is quick and easy to help her stay connected to herself.

Entrepreneurial mom or not, anyone who is running around forgetting to put themselves at the top of the list can benefit from this question.

Watch the video below for my answer, including a simple healing tool to help you feel connected and present that only takes 2 minutes…

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Keep your emotions in check when your child pushes you to the limits

Kids are incredible. We love them unconditionally and simultaneously they can be beyond frustrating and drive us to a point of rage where we don’t recognize ourselves. 

Today’s Ask Kelsey is about what to do when your efforts of kind reminders have failed and your blood starts to boil…

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