Fully Let Go In The Pauses

“Fully let go in the pauses.”

These words from Jessica Diz have been repeating in my head.

Jessica was my Doula and she was referring to the pauses between surges/contractions during labor, but her words have been a salve the past few weeks.

I remember as my labor with Abigail kicked into gear I felt my whole body tighten in anticipation for each coming surge. We called Jessica and she reminded me to fully let go in the pauses. Oh my goodness what a difference it made!

By fully letting go in between each wave, I could regroup and relax, making the next wave feel lighter and easier to ride versus accumulating wave upon wave and feeling less and less able to relax with them.

Fast forward 3 months and our daughter has hit what they call the 3-4 month sleep regression. She is going through a big developmental leap and as a result of her growing brain and body paired with her new awareness (plus the random reflux or gas), it’s become more of a challenge to put her to down to rest… and no guarantee that she’ll stay asleep!

Mama is tired. Sleep is precious…

Expectation versus Acceptance: Pregnancy & Covid-19

About a month ago I had this entire post prepared about expectation versus acceptance - and then Covid-19 arrived to the United States and life as we knew it changed.

In my original post I talked specifically about expectation versus acceptance in my pregnancy journey.

As I moved into my second trimester I had an expectation that I would “feel better” only to be constantly hit with the reality of, “I don’t feel better,” and the following week, “Nope, not better yet!”

After a great deal of resistance I finally stopped berating myself for not meeting my expectation of wellness and fully accepted that I didn’t feel better and that was okay.

My self-acceptance was not an invitation to dwell or wallow in my awful state, but rather an invitation to stay present in my current reality and in turn, take loving actions to honor that reality and improve my state with love.

This was a big shift from what I had been doing which was running into walls of self-judgment and brute psychological force. AKA: “You will feel better because you are supposed to feel better!” Which was followed by: “What is wrong with you? Why don’t you feel better yet?”

Self-acceptance and loving action was a much kinder route as you can see.

The reason I’m giving you a shortened version of my original post is because life has changed and this lesson of expectation versus acceptance has expanded in light of our current new reality.

We live at the epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic here in NYC, which is a strange sensation to say the least…

EXPANSION & How We Keep Ourselves Small

Over the past year and a half - amidst our 3 weddings (Yes, 3 of them to the same amazing man!) and becoming pregnant (SQUEAL!) - I danced with the decision of whether or not to officially change my business name to my new full name post-marriage: Kelsey Fox Bennett Boyd.

When I got married I was SO excited to have four names. Four is my favorite number and I love the way my full name sounds so I legally made Fox and Bennett my two middle names and Boyd my last name. I was expanding into my new life (My body is now literally expanding with our baby, too!) and my name felt like a representation of that expansion.

I did some research before making any changes to my business name and learned that there are some folks who love having their business name be separate from their personal name. Others do not make changes because it can get complicated. And finally, many talk about making it easy on your followers - i.e. you could potentially confuse them with a name change.

All these sounded reasonable, but did they ring true for me? I wasn’t sure yet…

5 Signs You Are A Highly Sensitive Person

Are you a deep thinker? Is it hard for you to be in large groups or over-stimulating environments? If so, you might be a Highly Sensitive Person - and that’s not a bad thing!

How do you want to feel this holiday season? Conscious Holiday Tips To Honor Your Desires

Three years ago, I decided I was done feeling sick and rundown on Christmas.

I was done giving in to what others wanted and I was ready to honor my desires not just throughout the holiday season, but also going into the new year.

So I sat down and thought about what I wanted to feel instead.

I wanted to feel healthy, energized and connected - to myself and to others.

Just having this shift in awareness helped me feel more abundant, but I knew I needed to get even more clear. I went deeper and made a list of what could help me feel healthy, energized and connected.

I came up with the following…

Communication & Abundance: A simple tool to go from defensive to calm in challenging conversations

I was with one of my friends a few months ago and found myself in a bit of a rant. It went something like this:

If we could all just communicate - not react, judge, assume, or defend, but actually communicate authentically without charge - we would discover we have more in common than we think and have more compassion and love to share.

Communicating is the basis of abundance and creating what you desire.

Clarity, boundaries, connection, love, to be seen and understood. So much of our ability to navigate the world henges on 1) being aware of ourselves, our needs and our desires and 2) being able to communicate all of that to others.

Communication creates a foundation for successful relationships in our personal and professional lives.

And yet… it can be SO HARD to communicate.

Why?

Because we have baggage and big feels from past traumas and experiences - old messages, patterns, and belief systems - that interrupt our ability to communicate what’s actually happening in various situations in our lives…

Face Judgment with Big Love

Ever have the feeling you are rocking out, so proud of yourself and what you are doing, confident and secure… and then you share with someone who doesn’t get it and all those feelings disappear?

I would imagine that all of our hands are going up. Even the seemingly most confident people I’ve met still have moments of insecurity when being judged.

And yet, facing judgment is inevitable. In fact, if you are really standing in your truth, it is more likely you will be judged.

So then what?

How do you navigate the world, authentically being you and doing what you love, when you know you could be judged?

This is what today’s Ask Kelsey is all about…

Ask Kelsey, Highly Sensitive, Parenting, Self-CareKelsey Fox Bennett BoydSeptember 4, 2019mom-preneur, working mom, do less, networking, judgment, feeling judgedComment

End of Summer Anxiety? Go From Overwhelm to Action With These 3 Steps

August has a tendency to bring a wave of anxiety.

Whether you are fresh back from vacation, prepping for the upcoming school year, navigating the last of summer events or merely attempting to digest the daily news, the sensation of overwhelm is real - and can be paralyzing.

Summer is the season for vacation, a gift that we look forward to all year, which can make the transition back to daily life stressful (to say the least)…

How to let go of hope that your parent will change and care about you.

Last weekend was Mother’s Day and soon enough it will be Father’s Day also. For many these days are celebratory, but for many others they highlight challenging or nonexistent parent relationships.

Today’s Ask Kelsey Question is for those who have the latter.

It’s a big one, and the answer, or at least my answer, is not something you can do once and forever be healed.

In essence, it’s the journey we’re all on in some form:

The journey of healing from the past, becoming our own parent, rewiring old stories that no longer serve us, choosing not to be defined by the actions or perspectives of others, and choosing new ways of being that enable us to receive more love on all levels.

NBD (no big deal)…

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“Fully let go in the pauses.”